May 2

Typing one handed blows. Woke up, my elbow killed, was so swollen and so were my fingers. Called the insurance company who told me to go to an urgent care centre. They gave me a list but the only one that was open on Sun was one in Playa Vista, so I difficultly threw clothes on, fashioned a makeshift sling outta my skull scarf, tried to disguise my oil slick hair with a headband and headed back to Daves (Leigh is amazing and offered to take me). So we get to the urgent care place and it was so cute and i was the only one there and i only had to pay 25 bones thanks to my insurance and it was really quite a nice experience (minus the xray part where i had to contort my body all crazy in order to get my arm in the right position and the part when i was getting it wrapped:

"you must have a really high pain threshold, people usually start screaming right about now"

"im screaming on the inside"

"feel free to tell me to fuck off"

So an hour, a fractured radius bone at the elbow, one hand to armpit splint and a 6-12 week recovery prediction later, we met dave at the coffee bean across the street, and returned matt rosen's car (thats another story). oh by the way, leigh was a lifesaver for filling out my medical forms for me! My childhood hours spent trying to be left handed are actually gonna be worth something now! So we drive to pick up a table and chairs for daves place and then head to valley oak in separate cars. And this is when it hit me. Driving along Venice blvd, listening to Fearless by TSwift, i started thinking about all the things i wont be able to do and the tears started flowing. Feeling incompetent is the worst feeling in the world.

Stuff I Can't Do:

-Schoolwork

-Surfing

-Working out at all basically

-Wash my hair

-Put on makeup

-Cook

-Wash dishes

-Cut food

-Clean my apartment

-Put on a bra (thank goodness i have over 30 bikinis)

-Floss my teeth (although i did get those floss stick things but they dont work for my built in retainer

-Hang my picture frames

-Finish the painting i just started

-paint my nails etc etc etc...

Not bending your elbow REALLY sucks.

We had a little party at valley oak with appearances by colin, rony, jess, & julia, we ate pizza, sang loudly to my chemical romance and nancy sinatra and packed up the remains.

The dr asked me if i wanted painkillers, i said no because at the time it wasnt too bad, but now its bad and so uncomfortable and swollen and tightly wrapped and i just want it to be over :(

bright side: i didnt break both arms, im already moved into my apartment, i dont need surgery and i get to go to the hairdresser for blowouts.

But like really? My foot and now this?

WTF.